沉沙

沒什麼，就是跟風

2018年中國高考作文題目──浙江卷

英文預警

歡迎揪文法錯誤

Last night my brother bang on my door like an ox. When I open the door, his smile was the widest I've ever seen.

"Ludwig, you won't bebelieving this, but-"

"As your sister, I've been forced to believe so many bizarre things." I crossed my arms. "What's so special that you think I won't be able to believe?"

"Well, Elizabeth finally agrees to go on a date with me."

I sighed. "I thought you were going to tell me that you've just succeded in that pair of flying wings. Elizabeth and you have been seeing each other for over an year. You two should have started this 'activities for normal couple' long time ago. I'm not surprised."

"Ja, aber, you see, she only finished her divorce yesterday morning."

I thought I must have skipped some words. The whole sentence didn't make sense to me.

"You started your relationship of 'friends of benefit' last year, when did she get married? The night you had a fight?"

"Nein, long before that. She had been married to a violinist two years before I met her."

My brother was still wearing that brillant smile. I couldn't see why. Anger rose up inside as I took a rather harsh voice.

"Does that mean, she was in another relationship when you two started being...'intimate'?" 

"I thought I just told you that she only got her divorce yesterday." He shrugged, delivering it with a casual tone. I couldn't take my elder brother's stupidity anymore. I pushed him aside and walked into our kitchen. He followed me, wanting to asked why. I poured him a glass of water and made him sat. He obeyed bewilderedly, crimson eyes gazing right into mine.

"I know it's quite cruel to say such things, especially when the girl you like had finally taken your invitation." I tried to keep my voice as gentle as possible, taking a seat across from him, hands on his shoulders. "But I need you to answear my question: if she betrayed you like she had betrayed her husband, would you be able to take it?"

"Liz won't do that to me."

"Nonsense. What had happened always happened again. It's just a matter of time. She desires your body? Then she will leave when there are wrinkles on your face. She likes you because you don't drop into those common thinking traps? One day she might get tired of it, finding someone she could always understand. My dear brother, there isn't any absolute, permanent reason that can keep her with you forever. There are moments that people almost fall out of love, trapped by their own indignation, wishing they have found someone better. If they don’t have the will of negotiating, they break the promises they made and find someone else to live with. That doesn’t mean they have found someone better, only starting new. When the time comes, quarrels start again and they leave, because they don’t know how to solve the problem.”

“That's not the case with her. She only went on bed with me to avenge on her disloyal husband. I would never betray her.”

“I can't see how this is making things better.”

“Ludwig, you are trapped in your own experience.”

“If you're talking about Francis, no. He didn't change me. I'm given the ability to see people more clearly, that's all.”

He took my hands down. I watched him. He seemed to be pondering something.

"Ludy, do you remember the time you went into college? When I offered to help you moving into the domitory?"

"Ja." I said slowly. "I turned down your offer, in the end have to call on Feliciano and his brother. Rather Feliciano dragging his brother, though."

He chuckled. "The awesome me remember how Lovino droping that suitcase and letting all the books out on the road. Well, you couldn't have imagined how hurt I was. I know my little sister have to grow up someday. She must learn how to handle things on her own so that one day, when I'm not around her, she will be living good." He paused, looking up at the celling with a distant smile. "I felt that I'm not needed anymore."

"That's not the truth." I said it quitely. "You know it's not like that, Gilbert."

He lowered his head. "I know. But even you have to admit that it felt this way, as if I were left on my own. I couldn't prove my value of living in crowds. I didn't have bonds with other people. I was drifting away...drifting away from living as something, anything. I was well armed, so people didn't get a bite from me. Nonetheless I felt so lonely and unimportant...until  I met Liz."

He grinned. "Our first time was rough. I'd never met any girl as tough as her. You are strong of course, in a different way, though. She was like a rose which didn't mind showing her stunning beauty and her glaring fangs. God, she was so charming. I was occupied with the thought of posessing her. I wanted her to become my own, and my own only."

"That doesn't sound romantic at all."

"It was at the beginning, I hadn't figured out my feelings. After some time, it slowly dawned on me that trapping her with me doesn't mean anything. Anyone could use force, so it means nothing at all if I use it to get her. Anyone could have done that. But, if she has lots of entrusting friends but wants to stay close to me only, that's the real something. Because it means that although she gets the whole world, I am the most important part of her universe. I wanted that. I wanted to enter not only her body, but also her life. It wasn't that easy. She was too proud to show that she need others company as well. But I knew she need it."

"For she was just as lonely as you were."

"Right. Liz and I don't live in fairytales. Tell you what, her ex-husband even has some title of count or lord. I have nothing but I've learnt to know her better. I can make out when she wants to deal her things alone and when she needs a shoulder to cry on. She hits me and I slap her and we find it okay. That's our way of loving each other. It might be wrong with other couples but we find it perfect. I hope I could keep that. I hope that she will keep longing for me just as I am."

"Yor sound so sure of it."

He gulped down that glass of water. "I know you don't want me getting hurt, Ludy. But trust me, I know what I'm doing and I can handle it well."

"Even if it end up the other way?"

"Even if it happened that way."

I sighed. "Well, take my blessing then, brother." He patted me on the back and went into his room.

Slowly, without making any noise, I stood up. It was so quiet in the house. I could only hear my own breathing and the steady buzzing of the refrigerator.

Grass. A pair of amber eyes. "What the hell are you thinking, potato bastard?"

"Lovi," I whispered."would you need me? Would you love me?

-End-