沉沙

簡單翻譯：小說課有人交了篇奇幻設定的角色，試圖2000字擠下4個同等戲份的角色。同‧等‧戲‧分。

下收無法擠入正式Peer Review的怨言

Please, darling, just tell me, what makes you think that it’s suitable to squeeze 4 characters in a 2220-word that’s not a fanfiction? It’s not a fanfiction. You have to build every character. It’s quick, it’s clear, it’s also weird. And you’re giving us weapon that can shot beams of light. You’re giving us some unknown civilization that use swords and bomb at the same time. You didn’t ease us into this. You throw it at us and I’m confused.

You give us a world that has plastic and foster home system but lots of people have to live underground. Is it a sci-fi? Is it a universe different from ours? We’re all from different backgrounds, is “Hansa” a word in real language that you know or you created this?

It’s impossible to tell how Amadeus sees Aziz or the society when he doesn’t feel like a real human to me. I might be able to infere what his desires are from his speech but that’s it. Without further background information I have no idea what he feels of this world—not to say, a world different from what we’re living in.